The Strongly Dislike List

Today's follow up blog to last week's love list couldn't come at a better time.  On Thursday night, my beloved Celtics take on one of my least favorite teams in all of sports, the Los Angeles Lakers, in the first game of the NBA Finals.  There are many reasons that I don't like the Lakers and most of them don't have to do with their rivalry from the mid-80s (I was pretty young then, and enjoyed both Magic and Larry, I hadn't sorted out my loyalties yet).

I am against hatred in all forms, but I think part of what makes sports fun is getting a chance to root against other teams.  I never wish ill on particular players, I don't wish injuries on players, but because I want my team to win, I am free to root against the other team.  And perhaps the most fun thing, is you don't even need a good reason to dislike a team.  In sports you have one team, and everyone else is the enemy in one way or another.  So while I could come up with only ten legitimate reasons for loving a team, I doubt that I could ever exhaust the list of reasons to dislike a team, but I'll take a crack at it.

1.  Historical rivalry.  This is pretty cut and dry.  If you like Duke you must dislike North Carolina.  If you like Ohio State you must dislike Michigan.  If you like the Red Sox you must dislike the Yankees.  If you like North Park you must dislike Wheaton. 

2.  Divisonal rivalry.  Because you play these teams multiple times a year these games are more important than other, thus increasing the level of dislike.  Also you get sick of their colors, and traditions, and fans, because you see them so much.

3.  They beat your team in a meaningful game.   The Cowboys, Redskins, and Giants are not traditional rivals of the Bills, but they are my least favorite football teams because of what they did to the Bill in the Super Bowl when I was the tender age of 8...and then 9....and then 10....and then 11. 

4.  Money.  Nobody outside of New York likes the Yankees because they seem to circumvent the need strategy and management by outspending everyone.  It's like shooting fish in a barrel, and no one likes a guy who goes around shooting fish in a barrel.

5.  Overexposure.  I am tempted to use the Yankees in every example here, but lets go with the Lakers.  The Lakers play in LA, have historically been great, have celebrity fans, have a celebrity coach, and the league's biggest star.  We hear about them constantly.  If I go to a sports store anywhere in the country they will have Lakers gear.  They are always a possible destination for the next big free agent.  (Yes, I realized that the Red Sox also fall under this category, and I don't blame you for hating them).

6.  Style.  Some teams are so boring, yet so successful, that we feel they are doing the sport a disservice by being successful.   Patrick Ewing's Knicks teams are the most popular example.  Rex Grossman's Bears qualify as well.

7.   Players.  I am careful about judging a player's personal life that I know little about (though it can be difficult to like teams whose players are in trouble all the time).  But I often dislike teams because their players' demeanor on the court or field.  Sometimes they seem selfish.  Sometimes they seem aloof.  Sometimes they whine too much.  Sometimes they yell at their teammates.  Sometimes they wear number 24 on the Lakers.  Sometimes they yell at fielders trying to catch fly balls.  Sometimes they slap balls out of fielder's gloves.  Sometimes they step on pitcher's mounds.  Sometimes they wear number 13 on the Yankees.  Sometimes they string everybody along as they contemplate retirement.  Sometimes they seem too hungry for the spotlight.  Sometimes they wear number 4 on the Vikings (I like the Vikings, but I can see why someone might not because of this fella.)

8.  Uniforms.  Again, you don't need a real reason to dislike a team.  Sorry Raptors, you just don't look good.  Same goes for you Marlins. 

9.  Region.  Sometimes we just lump teams together.  My friend Paul mentioned this in a comment on the previous post.  As a Steelers fan, he can't stand the Cleveland Browns.  He kind of likes the Cleveland Cavaliers, but doesn't quite feel right doing it.  The problem here is that divisional rivalries often pit cities in close proximity against one another, but there is an inherent affinity for one's own region of the country.  A Pittsburgh guy like Paul would rather see another rust-belt city win a title, than those hippy, beach bums in California.  And likewise those Californians, would probably rather see the Mariners win a World Series then those media darling, elitist Boston Red Sox.  This is especially prevalent in college sports, where people would rather see someone from their conference win a National Championship than someone from some other conference.  This feels like another blog for another time, and a little like rock, paper, scissors.

10.  Name.  Orlando Magic...ugh.

11.  They used to be our team.  Baltimore have good reason to dislike the Colts.  Cleveland has good reasons to dislike the Ravens.  Minnesota has good reasons to dislike the Lakers.  And Buffalo should be grateful that LA took the Clippers off their hands.  (Also, I can't wait to root against the Los Angeles Bills in a couple of season.)

12.  They stole our player.  It's ok for T'Wolves fans to dislike the Celtics, though I know some who continue to wish KG well and blame their own managment, which leads us to....

13.   I think I hate my own team.  This is perhaps the strongest kind of sports hatred and is especially prevalent among Cubs fans.

Alright, I should probably stop.  Please feel free to add to this list.  There is no wrong answer.