On The Island of Misfit Toys

I am, for the most part, an optimist.  In fact, in high school, I won the superlative of "Most Optimistic."  Somehow this accomplishment was not published in the yearbook, but I managed to stay upbeat about it.

86 Tickets to the Island of Misfit Toys.

I bring this up because I received my season tickets for the Minnesota Timberwolves this week.  The Timberwolves could possibly be the worst team in the league this year.  Since their inception in 1989 they have won two playoff series, and have suffered from bad luck, bad drafting, and mismanagement.  The closest they have come to a title is giving the Celtics Kevin Garnett to win theirs in 2008.  At the beginning of last season, the franchise took a turn with new GM David Kahn.  He quickly became the laughingstock of the league by drafting two point guards with consecutive picks in last years draft, which may have caused the more talented of the two to stay in Spain for an additional two years.  This summer has not been much better, with a bevy of questionable moves that leaves their roster resembling the Island of Misfit toys from the classic Christmas film, "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer".

And that, I am afraid, is the most optimistic thing I can say about the Timberwolves this season: they are like the Island of Misfit toys.  Their players are mostly guys who no one else really wanted, and the talent that they do have seems to be concentrated at the forward positions meaning that their five most talented players will not be able to play on the floor at once.  Let's meet the cast of characters:


Hermey the Elf, Kevin Love, PF
Hermey is immensely talented, but no one takes him seriously because he wants to be a dentist, not an elf.
Love is immensely talented, but in spite of his fantastic numbers, the Wolves have not seemed to take him seriously having started only 59 games in his first two seasons.

Charlie-in-the-Box, Johnny Flynn, PG
My favorite character in the movie.  Perpetually compared to the more popular, "Jack-in-the-Box".  "Nobody wants a Charlie-in-the-Box".

Perpetually compared to Ricky Rubio, the PG who might have been here already, had Flynn not been drafted, and Stephen Curry, the PG/SG, that seems to be a better player and a better fit when(if) Rubio gets here.

The Bumble, Darko Milicic, C
The abominable snowman spends most of the movie as an enemy of Rudolph and Hermey.  At the end of the movie, his character is redeemed as he put the star on top of the Christmas tree.

Darko was the number 2 draft pick in 2003, selected after Lebron James, but before Carmelo Anthony, Chris Bosh, and Dwayne Wade.  Seven years later, he seemed to be on his way out of the league when Kahn was the only one to give him a chance at redemption.

A Dolly for Sue, Michael Beasley, PF
There actually seems to be nothing wrong with the doll, it's just that no one wants her.

There is nothing wrong with Beasley.  At 21-years-old, this former number 2 pick, it seems far too early to write him off.  But nobody seemed to want him, as it only took a second round pick to acquire him.  He became the odd man out in Miami as Wade, Lebron, and Bosh joined forces.  (I once argued that the Bulls should have taken Beasley ahead of Rose, I was wrong, but because of this argument I feel attached to him and really hope he succeeds in Minnesota).

Yukon Cornelius, Ricky Rubio, PG
While wandering in far away lands, Rudolph and Hermey find Yukon Cornelius searching for silver and gold.  Though a bit selfish and greedy, he ends up helping them on their journey.

Rubio plays in a far away land, seemingly waiting for a better opportunity in the NBA.  If the Wolves convince him to play for them, he could help them a lot.

King Moonracer, David Kahn, GM

The lion who rules the island and searches for unwanted toys.

Kahn rules the Wolves, and so far seems to search for unwanted players.

Sam the Snowman, Kurt Rambis, Coach

The coolest character in the movie, the non-misfit who narrates the action and keep things together with his songs.

The heir-apparent to the great Phil Jackson, he seems to emulate Phil's cool demeanor.  It will be up to him to keep things together with his triangle offense.

Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer, Wesley Johnson, SF

All of the other reindeer underestimated Rudolph because of his red nose.  He ended up saving Christmas by guiding Santa's sleigh.

Possibly underestimated for not being John Wall, Evan Turner, or Demarcus Cousins (the rookies most fans would have preferred).  If the Wolves are even moderately successful this year it will probably be because Johnson is more than we expect.

And last but not least...

Clarice the Doe, Mark Hakanson, season-ticket holder

Clarice believed in Rudolph from the very start.  She saw the potential in Rudolph and loved him for it.

I choose to believe in the Timberwolves.  That they resemble the Island of Misfit Toys may be the the most optimistic thing I can say about them, but watch the movie.  That ragtag bunch of misfits saves Christmas, by reaching their potential that no one else can see. Now I'm not expecting a championship.  I'm not even expecting the playoffs.  But the Timberwolves will be better than you think.  Their glass may look all the way empty, but I see it as at least half empty.  Look at all those characters and all that they have to prove.  What is more inspiring than watching a bunch of perceived misfits work hard at redemption?  And though it may not happen this season, maybe Kahn's got a little Santa Claus in him, and this sleigh is at least headed in the right direction.